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User blog:Zinnia3/Shake It Out
Hey everybody. So, after the recent domestic abuse storline with Nicole and Dillon, I thought I should make a post of some sort, given that they were my otp from their very earliest days. Basically, I feel like I felt similar to how Nicole felt, although to a lesser degree. Disbelief that Dillon would do such a thing, reluctance to forget a perfect relationship of over two years, and knowledge that she would have to move on. Also, utter gratitude that Adam was there to keep her on her feet. I basically listened to this song over and over (also since Glee sang it once) and thought about it a lot. (As I tend to do... about this fanfiction... and Glee in general) I honestly don't think that Nicole regrets dating Dillon, because he taught her so much and made her really happy for two years. She doesn't even want to think about what happened to them, and she knows that the past is the past. She's coming to terms with the fact that she has to move on, and that she actually does have the strength to do so. And thank goodness for Adam, or I don't know how she'd make it. I'd like to think that Dillon got some therapy after all this, and that Nicole can one day look back and be happy about those two years, instead of veiwing it all as a waste. Of course, she deserves better. But now that she has better, it doesn't mean she has to hate her past. Sorry for my ranting. That's what you get for giving me all this time to build up feelings about one couple :P So here's my mini-fic. Kind of like the last one... only with obvious differences. p.s. I changed the lyrics. Just a little bit. I listened to them, and this is what I though I heard, so this is what I connected to. So don't worry! Shake It Out Nicole sat alone on her bed, her injured leg stretched out in front of her. She felt as if her whole world had been turned inside out. Someone she had once thought was the love of her life- gone. There was a part of her that wanted to accept every apology he made, to forget about her pain and go back to the way things used to be. But she knew, deep down, that that could never happen. They would never be the same again, not after what he had done. She had once promised herself that she would never change for the sake of anyone else. As much as she loved him, she couldn’t forgive Dillon for hurting her and breaking her heart. They had been together for over two years. And it was true to say that most of that had been perfection. He had loved her for exactly who she was, and she would have done anything for him. Yet somehow, that all changed when he began to hit her. The past was the past, and she couldn’t deny that what had once been so special had faded. It was time to move on with her life. And it would have seemed impossibility, if not for Adam. No matter how broken down Nicole felt, he had always been able to make her smile. And God knows how I need to smile right now, she thought. Nicole sighed heavily, holding her framed photograph of Dillon and running her fingers over the edges. She took a shaky breath. “''Regrets collect like old friends'',” Nicole sang. “Here to relive your darkest moments. I can see no way, I can see no way. And all of the ghouls come out to play.” She set the picture down and got up carefully to stand in front of the mirror. Her fingers brushed the shadow of a bruise on her cheek that remained from when Dillon had pushed her at sectionals. “''And every demon wants his pound of flesh, but I like to keep some things to myself.'' I like to keep my issues drawn. It's always darkest before the dawn.” Nicole remembered sitting alone in the choir room before glee club. She opened her phone to see a text from Dillon. I’m so sorry, it read. I love you <3. Her grip tightened on the phone, and she squeezed her eyes shut. “''And I've been a fool and I've been blind''. I can never leave the past behind.” Back in her room, Nicole fingered the heart necklace from Dillon that hung around her neck. Her reflection stared back at her, as if urging her to make a decision. “''I can see no way, I can see no way.'' I'm always dragging that horse around. Our love is questioned, such a mournful sound. Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground.” As she sang, she slowly reached up to undo the clasp. She held the necklace out before dropping it on the dresser. “''So I like to keep my issues drawn, but it's always darkest before the dawn.”'' Nicole stood on the stage in the empty auditorium. She sang out into the blinding lights. “''Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa!'' Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off, oh whoa!” With a determined look on her face, Nicole began to take down the pictures in her locker of her and Dillon, smiling and laughing together. Her hand shook, but she continued. “''And I am done with my graceless heart'', so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.” She closed her locker and turned away, hugging her arms to her chest. “'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn. It's always darkest before the dawn.” Once again Nicole stood on the stage, closing her eyes and holding the microphone. ”Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out,ooh whoa! And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off, oh whoa!” Nicole flashed back to when Dillon grabbed her wrist in the Dalton common room. “And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back.” ''She recalled the first time she ever met him, when he asked her out at sectionals. ''“And given half the chance would I take any of it back? It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone. It's always darkest before the dawn. Oh whoa, oh whoa!” Nicole replayed their relationship in her head. How she had been so shy, yet he made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. How they had stayed together, even though rivalries between their clubs had threatened to tear them apart. How he had been the one to make her realize that she didn’t have to change her appearance in order to be loved. How they trusted each other completely and made every decision together. And, finally, how he had snapped under pressure and made all of that fade away. Blinking back tears, she continued to sing. “And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road. And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope. It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat.” Nicole closed her eyes and stood perfectly still, allowing herself to feel the pain building up inside her. “'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me. Looking for heaven, found the devil in me” She opened her eyes now and let the tears stream down, screaming out the song into the empty air. “But why the hell did I let it happen to me? Yeah, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off, oh whoa!” Wiping away her tears, Nicole took the microphone and spun around, twirling about the stage. She smiled slightly as she let herself free. “Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa! And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off, oh whoa!” As the song faded out, Nicole stood once again at her locker. Adam was handing her new photographs to put up, ones of her friends in glee club at their various events and performances. He grinned at her and she smiled back, forgetting about her pain for a moment and feeling completely happy. Category:Blog posts